Firm humility in triplicate

 This week's verses are 1 Samuel 1:6-20:

Because the Lord had closed Hannah’s womb, her rival kept provoking her in order to irritate her. This went on year after year. Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the Lord, her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat. Her husband Elkanah would say to her, “Hannah, why are you weeping? Why don’t you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don’t I mean more to you than ten sons?”

Once when they had finished eating and drinking in Shiloh, Hannah stood up. Now Eli the priest was sitting on his chair by the doorpost of the Lord’s house. In her deep anguish Hannah prayed to the Lord, weeping bitterly. And she made a vow, saying, “Lord Almighty, if you will only look on your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head.”

As she kept on praying to the Lord, Eli observed her mouth. Hannah was praying in her heart, and her lips were moving but her voice was not heard. Eli thought she was drunk and said to her, “How long are you going to stay drunk? Put away your wine.”

“Not so, my lord,” Hannah replied, “I am a woman who is deeply troubled. I have not been drinking wine or beer; I was pouring out my soul to the Lord. Do not take your servant for a wicked woman; I have been praying here out of my great anguish and grief.”

Eli answered, “Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant you what you have asked of him.”

She said, “May your servant find favor in your eyes.” Then she went her way and ate something, and her face was no longer downcast.

Early the next morning they arose and worshiped before the Lord and then went back to their home at Ramah. Elkanah made love to his wife Hannah, and the Lord remembered her. So in the course of time Hannah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel, saying, “Because I asked the Lord for him.”

Hannah was a woman who lived a hard life. She had fertility problems in an era where a woman's worth was largely measured by how many kids she had. And being a mother wasn't just what was expected of her by others. She herself deeply desired it. Even though her husband loved her deeply and was satisfied with her just as she was, she wanted that experience for herself. She didn't give up her dream just because it wasn't shared.

To add to an already intolerable experience, her wicked rival used to bully and torment her over her infertility until she would cry. Even with her husband's love and support, it wasn't a great home environment.

Once a year, they would go up to sacrifice to God, and then come back home just as childless as before. But this year she had reached a breaking point. She stood before God and poured her heart out to him till she couldn't even talk anymore.

As if things couldn't get worse, while she was making the awkward prayer face the priest walked in on her and thought she was drunk. (Ironically, he turned a blind eye to his own sons being drunkards, which ultimately brought a curse on his family.) Despite the insult, she didn't lash out at him. She held her ground humbly, and told him the truth about what was going on.

Eli blessed her, and she accepted it and ended her fast. Her dark mood has lifted. She and her husband worship together the next morning, and when she got home, God remembered her prayers and gave her the son she always wanted. And once again, she tells it as it is and basically calls him "God hears," as if to say the very existence of this child can only be explained by one thing.

There are three inspirational cases of humility here that we can learn from:

The first is when Hannah persists in seeking after the desires of her heart. She is honest about her feelings, being fully open before God, in a way that matches the intensity of her desire.

She doesn't just forget about it when Elkanah tries to comfort her. And she doesn't just stiffly recite a quick prayer and move on with her life, like we often do. She creates an encounter and is open and authentic before God.

The second case of humility is when Eli falsely accuses her of being a drunk. She doesn't passively avenge herself on him by being mean to him. And she doesn't silently accept it either. Again, she's honest. "I know what this looks like, but it's not that. I'm having a hard time and trying to ask God for a way out of it." How many of us would limit ourselves to telling the truth in a situation like that? How many of us would really be vulnerable and not just make excuses or push back?

The third case of humility is when she accepts Eli's blessing as an answer to prayer. The priest, in those days, was a representative of God. It was a bit like she was told "God has heard your prayers." She could have continued in a kind of strained telethon of religiosity until Elkanah came to get her the next day, but what good would it have done if she already had an answer?

She could have continued to worry about it, but if God had already heard her argument, there was nothing more to do. Either she would have a son, or she would not.

She went on with her life, knowing that God had heard her, relieved at the realization that her problem was now safely in his hands.

So, how can we use this?

If there is something on your heart, or something that is bothering you, be honest about it. Don't pretend everything is OK when it's not. Don't pretend you don't want something when you do. Even if the only person you discuss it with is God, you're still being authentic and not a hypocrite.

And if you are slandered or attacked by someone, just be honest. Maybe to the other person you did come across as immoral, or creepy, or dishonest, without you intending to. That doesn't make what they said about you true. Tell your story. Tell the truth without trying to embellish or get a punch in. Give them a chance to self-correct on their own in light of the truth.

And if you feel God has spoken into your life, live it out. Don't try to charge a battery that's already charged. Don't sit and second-guess and double-check. Go and live according to the truth you have received. When King David found out that the son he had been praying healing for had died, he did the same as Hannah. He cleaned up and went and had something to eat. God had spoken. It was time to see what comes next.

God ultimately chose Hannah to be the mother of the prophet Samuel, who established the House of David, which ultimately led to the birth of our Savior many generations later. It's ultimately by God's grace that he chooses people, but much as he chose Mary to be the mother of Jesus, he may have chosen Hannah precisely because of her elegant humility in the worst of situations.