Pants on fire

This week's verses are Matthew 5:33-37

“Again, you have heard that it was said to an older generation, ‘Do not break an oath, but fulfill your vows to the Lord.’ But I say to you, do not take oaths at all—not by heaven, because it is the throne of God, not by earth, because it is his footstool, and not by Jerusalem, because it is the city of the great King. Do not take an oath by your head, because you are not able to make one hair white or black. Let your word be ‘Yes, yes’ or ‘No, no.’ More than this is from the evil one.

Here Jesus is addressing our tendency to lie to each other. We usually think of narcissistic lies when we think of evil lies. Like the lies we tell to others to keep from getting in trouble or to manipulate them into doing things they might not otherwise have done.

But Jesus is talking about a different kind of lie here. He's talking about the little white lies we tell others to avoid awkward conversations, and the lies we tell ourselves when our flesh is calling the shots.

The little white lies we tell others seem benign: "Yes I will be there on Saturday. (Even though I know I'll probably go shopping instead.)" "I'd be glad to help you move. Call me any time. (Except you already know the excuse you'll give, if you can't just ghost.)" We say these kinds of things to people because nobody wants to say "no" and hurt someone's feelings. But every short term sacrifice of the truth produces a rift in the long term. Our "yes" stops being "yes" and degrades into a "maybe but probably not." And our "no" is nowhere to be found, unless it's the "no" you say when the person asks you if you did anything fun instead of the thing you didn't show up to.

The lies we tell ourselves are rarely mentioned. These are the lies that cause us to give the wrong answer to people because we ourselves don't know the right answer. 

 

It's like that friend who is always 30-90 minutes late. When she says she'll meet you at noon, you never expect her at noon. She honestly believes she'll be there by noon, but then a friend calls, and she sees something interesting on the way, and then she runs into someone she hasn't seen in awhile and decides to grab a quick coffee to catch up. We all know someone like that. Some of us are someone like that. We don't lie to others but our lies to ourselves cause our words to be untrue.

Our boss asks us for a report about something we're excited about and we're sure it'll only take an hour or two. "Sure! I'll have a draft in your inbox tomorrow morning!" A friend asks us to borrow some money and we agree quickly and forget, only to not have enough when they come to us later. Teenage lovers promise to be faithful forever, until the new vampire kid shows up and all bets are off.

When we make those promises, vowing to do something that seems good, or refusing to consider something that seems hard, we honestly believe ourselves. It's only later that our falsehood is revealed, often to everyone but ourselves.

I can't even tell you how many projects I've started thinking I'd have time and skill enough to finish them in a weekend, only for them to disappear into eternity unfinished. Or how many things I refused to start only to discover later how easy they would have been if only I'd not vetoed the idea immediately. The emotions of the flesh can cloud our vision and make us see things that aren't there or not see things that are.

So to obey Jesus' command to make "yes" mean "yes" and "no" mean "no," we have to have the humility to examine ourselves before answering: "Am I saying this just to not rock the boat?" "Is it possible I'm promising things because I like how the outcome sounds, but haven't stopped to think about if I can afford it?"

We are meant to be ambassadors of God's kingdom, and God is a God of truth. He doesn't just say things because he likes the sound of them or because he doesn't want to offend us. He knows all and can do all. If we are going to be his image on Earth, we need to be like that too.

Being Christlike is also having compassion on others. Do you want people to not be able to count on you? Do you want to make them live always in doubt about who is genuine and whether help will really come through? Do you want to live in a community where nobody can trust each other?

There will always be unforeseen circumstances. I'm not talking about those. What I am talking about is making a basic effort to listen to ourselves and try to make our word as trustworthy as it can be within our power. If we tell someone they did a good job, they can trust that they did. If we say we'll be there right after work, we're either there or we're calling to say we'll be late. And if we just don't have time to lend a hand or if money really is tight this month, say that up front.

 

So, we should try not to lie to ourselves or to others. Jesus calls us to a difficult life of honesty. Truthfulness acknowledges our limitations and builds humility. Having integrity in how we deal with ourselves and others means we'll have better relationships and a more faithful walk with God.