The trap of playing the game

 This week's verses are Matthew 11:16:19:

“To what should I compare this generation? They are like children sitting in the marketplaces who call out to one another,

‘We played the flute for you, yet you did not dance;
we wailed in mourning, yet you did not weep.’

For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, ‘He has a demon!’ The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, ‘Look at him, a glutton and a drunk, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!’ But wisdom is vindicated by her deeds.”

I joke sometimes that I eat an average of one fancy pastry every day in order to give myself a kind of beer gut, all so that I can have people say that I am a glutton and a drunkard and thereby be Christ-like. (I'm still working on being a friend with tax-collectors though. Baby steps.) But more important than justifying my gluttony, these verses contain an important statement Jesus makes about himself.

The theme is: the world will find fault with us when we don't play by its rules. "Hey we told you to dance, Christian. Why aren't you dancing? And we told you to be outraged! Why aren't you outraged? Are you with us or not?" It can be tempting to play along to get along. But Jesus tells us that's not going to work. We have to make a choice.

Jesus and John the Baptist were both following God's lifestyle closely, and yet they were both condemned for different reasons. One was too hot for people's tastes, and one was too cold.

For John, his ascetic lifestyle made the religious people think he had a demon. Nowadays we would say something like "I don't know about him. He never eats anything, and it doesn't look like he's taking care of himself. I think he's got mental problems."

For Jesus, his choice to hang around with people with questionable lifestyles made the religious people think he was out of control. Nowadays we would say something like "Oh that guy? He doesn't have a good witness. He goes out with nonbelievers and people with checkered pasts. He's probably got a drug problem or some moral issues."

In both cases, people made up false judgments in their heads to justify their unwillingness to follow someone who stands out as different. What they wanted was someone who ate what they ate when they ate it, only hung out with people like them, who danced when they said to dance, and cried when they said it was time to cry. Anyone else was going to get branded and marginalized.

On the surface, when we're detached from the question, we imagine ourselves easily and rigidly following God's path no matter what people say. (In our minds, we're always great Christians, poised to make the right call every time.) But is it really that easy? Even when it's someone influential badmouthing you "So you're not a patriot? You don't believe women have rights? You don't think people should be free to choose the lifestyle they want and be the person they choose to be? You believe a person's body belongs to you and not to them? You think you're better than everyone else?" What if they question your morality the way they questioned Jesus' morality? What if they write you off as crazy or worse? Therein lies the trap.

We all get tempted to tread carefully, say the things we're supposed to say, keep our mouths shut in the face of injustice or deception, dance the dance, and make a show of mirroring the officially sanctioned emotions of others, regardless of what is true. We think we can play the game everyone else is playing and still faithfully follow Christ. But it's a lie. The path to the cross will force us to turn off the main road from time to time, and people will notice.

That's not to say we have to be "Bible Guy," outsquaring the squares and speaking only in obscure Christianisms. We can still share some commonalities with the world we live in. The difference is that when we follow Jesus, we will not always be on the same path as the world around us, and sometimes that will offend people. Peer pressure is a thing. So is genocide.

So these verses are another confession Jesus makes about himself, to warn us and allow us to count the cost of following him: People will see us as caricatures and stereotypes, and that will cause them to marginalize us. The Christian life is not the path to fame, success, and popularity. There is no Champagne Room in Golgotha. Even within the church, people have been exceptionally hurtful to those who show a greater level of devotion or who live it out differently. If they weren't, we'd all be one denomination, right?

With this revelation ("You will be marginalized") and the ones of the last couple weeks ("The law still matters," and "People are going to turn on you, maybe even violently,") we have to ask ourselves "Is it still worth it?" Like with any relationship that could get serious and have long term consequences, we have to weigh the risks up front and see if that person is still worth it to us.

So, thinking of your career, your marriage possibilities, your social circle, weigh the fact that if you take Jesus seriously, people may not take you seriously. That could close some doors you wanted to leave open. It could keep you from climbing to the heights you wanted to climb. Is it worth it? Is He worth it? Or would you rather try your hand at playing the game instead?