Finding harmony

 This week's verses are Romans 12:15-16:

Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another; do not be haughty but associate with the lowly. Do not be conceited.

It's amazing what can sometimes be said without being said. Paul is talking about the church, and how to love one another as part of it. A lot of the things he lists can be done in a fairly impersonal way, like not taking revenge, or being charitable, but these verses have a very personal angle to them.

He says to rejoice with those who are rejoicing and to weep with those who are weeping. Do you know anyone in your church who you would cry with, if they were crying about something? We generally have to know someone pretty well to show our own tears, let alone to feel theirs enough to share them. 

And can you rejoice with a stranger in any meaningful way? You might know that you should act happy, but can you really feel their joy the same way as you might a member of your own family or circle of friends?

How are we supposed to share in each other's joys and sorrows if we don't get to know each other? How are we supposed to live harmoniously with one another, if we don't actually cross paths, except heading into and out of the church building once a week? Is it harmony if you keep such distance between you that no conflict can be found? Can it be harmony with only one voice?

And how would we know if we were haughty if we were never around the lowly? We're like the people who think that being poor means owning a house with a one car garage instead of a two car garage. We spend our time mostly with people who are exactly like us, same age, same race, same income bracket, same political beliefs. It takes effort for us to connect with someone who is outside of that comfortable bubble. We make excuses for the discomfort and become conceited.

In a persecuted church, this is one of the few things that is actually a lot easier to navigate than in our churches. If you're forced to depend on each other, you develop these kinds of deep relationships a lot more quickly than if you can pick and choose whose company you enjoy, mostly just during the boring periods between Netflix and sports, when you've had a good week and aren't too tired, if your wife or husband is up for it too, and the kids don't have something planned. 

So Paul might not have needed to spell out the fact that, for this to work, you need to have relationships with people in the church. How else will you know each other's struggles and strengths, and be able to meet their unspoken needs? How else will you learn to love other people if you don't have that love tested? In the same way we all say that we would die for one of our friends, most of us would probably just make excuses for not doing it, if necessity ever knocked. This test is easier.

So read through these verses this week and test your love. 

• How much fellowship do you feel during fellowship? 
• Do you have an emotional stake in the lives of those around you?
• Do you live in active multi-voiced harmony with them?
• Are you humble enough to be OK with loving whoever God puts in front of you, or do you wriggle to get free and find someone more "deserving" of your time?

Take it slow, and see what happens.