Rough honesty beats smooth deception

This week is on Matthew 21:28-32:

"What do you think? There was a man who had two sons. He went to the first and said, 'Son, go and work today in the vineyard.'

" 'I will not,' he answered, but later he changed his mind and went.

"Then the father went to the other son and said the same thing. He answered, 'I will, sir,' but he did not go.

"Which of the two did what his father wanted?"
"The first," they answered.

Jesus said to them, "I tell you the truth, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you. For John came to you to show you the way of righteousness, and you did not believe him, but the tax collectors and the prostitutes did. And even after you saw this, you did not repent and believe him.

Integrity is a big thing for me, so I always like these verses for the wrong reasons. But really, the righteous guy and the unrighteous guy both come across as liars here. Still, as a guy who relies on a lot of volunteers, I like that the guy who said he would do something but didn't do it was the guy who got in trouble. We all have a bit of both in us, though.

This parable is about more than just integrity. It says more than "Don't say you're going to do something unless you're going to do it." It's about the places our hearts take us. The first guy was honest with his father, even though he knew it wasn't what his father wanted to hear. He didn't want to work in the vineyard that day. Maybe he had other plans. Maybe he was tired. Maybe he was bitter against his father for something, and didn't want to help him. The reason doesn't matter. What does matter is that he was honest about it and recognized that he didn't want to obey.

The second guy is more typical of today's American culture, and of relationship-based cultures in general. His thought process wasn't "Will I work in the vineyard today?" but "What magic words does my father want to hear in order to still want to be my friend?" He wasn't thinking about his father's needs, or honestly assessing his own situation. He was just doing what it would take to keep doing what he was doing. To him, whether he wanted to obey or not was secondary to how he would be perceived in the moment he was being asked.

The first guy, despite seeming like a selfish jerk at first, was the one who ultimately was his father's friend. The second guy talked the talk, but the first guy walked the walk. In the church, we have people of both types. For any call for volunteers, there are always people who enthusiastically sign up, only to change their mind later and do something else, and there are always people who say that they can't possibly spare the time or money who end up showing up to help anyway. There are people who cry out loudly and consistently that they'd do anything God asks of them, but they turn their back on their calling and continue living in sin. And there are people who openly vow that they will never give up this thing, or go and do that thing that God wants, and yet still find themselves ultimately being obedient.

Doing what God wants is way more important than trying to look good to everyone. The Pharisees, who were more like us than we often admit, were constantly trying to look good. They wanted God to bless them with wealth. They wanted the people they lived with to bless them with respect and power. If they didn't look good, they figured they'd lose it all. The prostitutes and tax collectors couldn't look good if they tried. They just came to a realization that they wanted to obey Father God, and despite openly defying him before, they did what he asked and began to live the way he wanted them to live.

If you don't want to do what you're supposed to do, or feel that you can't, it's OK to be honest about it. It's better to do that and end up changing your mind later, than to lie about it and write a bad check to God. If your heart loves God, you'll end up obeying him despite your plans in the moment, just like the first son in the parable. If you just love yourself, though, no amount of promising and posturing will get you where you need to be.